Often you read about the extra energy you get once you reach your second trimester, and I for one can attest to these truth of these rumors. I certainly have more energy, however, I continue to suffer from nausea and vomiting. Apparently, less than 2% of women are still vomiting as they move through the second trimester, and it appears that I am one of those ‘unlucky ones’. I remember when I was on my way to my first obstetrician meeting during my second trimester, and my husband had to pull over on the side of the highway, both on the way there and on the way back, so I could (very gracefully, of course) throw up on the side of the road. My obstetrician took one look at me and immediately doubled my medication, which worked wonderfully, and thereafter I felt a million times better. She suggested that, by the end of week 18, I should try to return to half of my medication, but as soon as I tried that I was vomiting uncontrollably again, and I could hardly function. My husband, Brad, simply said, “Babe I think it’s best you stay on your full medication”. The obstetrician and I both agreed with him, realizing that I might, unfortunately, suffer from nausea for the entirety of the pregnancy.
Then the worst day of my pregnancy to date occurred at week 23, whilst I was enjoying philosophy teacher training in Byron Bay. I thought that by this stage I wouldn’t be as sick, but on this particular day, I couldn’t stop vomiting. After 13 violent rounds of nausea in the morning, I admitted myself into hospital, realizing that I was starting to get severely dehydrated. The doctor couldn’t believe how sick I was, especially considering the medication I was taking, and said “You have to rest! These two little babies are growing dramatically and are drawing all of your energy and nutrients right now.” I really didn’t feel tired or drained at all, as I was mainly sitting around discussing the Ramayana; however, the babies decided they wanted me to be in bed. Though I have to admit that I haven’t been getting enough sleep, since the outset of my pregnancy I have realized that I need at least 8-10hrs a night, and during my training I was only getting 7hrs. That’s what happens when you go on a training course with 3 of your really good girlfriends, and end up chatting at night instead of sleeping!
I think I’m learning very quickly that it’s not about how I feel or what I want but rather what the babies want and what’s best for them. Whilst they are in the womb, their way of communicating with me, I believe, is to make mummy super sick, so that she doesn’t do anything, and can give us everything we need in order to grow. Once they are born, I think it will be the same story, only I won’t be sick (which will be wonderful), and instead they will be crying for mummy’s milk and cuddles to help them grow and develop into strong babies.
Being able to feel my babies kick has been the best part of my second trimester. It’s so fantastic, to be able to feel them moving around, and I’ve really been able to connect with them on a deeper level. My belly is growing, and I am now able to see their healthy bodies grow in my regular scans, and this has been such a sacred experience. Knowing that they are both super healthy, and above average size for their age, is very reassuring, and makes the nausea and discomfort well worth it.
We are taught, in Tantra yoga, to look for the Shri (blessings) in all of life’s situations; both good and bad. Even though my physical practice has had to take a back seat, my daily meditation practice has deepened dramatically. I have not only committed to my seat but also to my personal studies in traditional yogic philosophy, which has been a beautiful balance of both learning and practice. Without the implementation of the teachings, it’s just arm chair philosophy and I feel like my little babies have guided me on a deeper spiritual journey, beyond the asana. I already know that they will be my greatest teachers, in both Karma yoga (selfless service) and Bhakti yoga (unconditional love and devotion). So many lessons, learnings and ‘letting-goes’ to come.